Definitive MLB Preseason Power Rankings: Top 5

And I don't Want to Hear Any Fuckin' Arguments

Opening Day is just a few days away, and I thought I’d take a crack at some pre-season power rankings. Some of these takes are controversial, some may cause strife, and some may even cause a couple of births. All thoughts are my own, and as such, should absolutely (not) be taken as professional gambling advice. Without further ado, here are my thoughts on the top five MLB squads heading into the season. 

5. New York Mets

The five spot is a contentious one, as several different teams could have been placed here; including the White Sox, Yankees and Astros. And call me a homer, but I truly believe the Mets are in a position to take the next step (they fucking better with that payroll). Adding Scherzer and Bassitt gives the Mets the undeniable best rotation in baseball, and the additions of Escobar, Canha and Marte are not to be understated. 

If deGrom stays healthy (yes, this was written a few days ago, I’ll take the L on that one), Lindor returns to his offensive form, and Pete Alonso stays husky, book the Mets for a League Championship Series appearance. Their biggest obstacle, discussed further down, will be their division rival. 


4. Tampa Bay Rays

It’s tough not to put the reigning AL East Champs in a higher spot, as they always seem to overperform on their shoestring budget, but in my mind this is where they land. The Rays didn’t make any flashy signings this offseason, but their young core of Arozarena, Franco and Meija make the Rays a force to be reckoned with.

Sabermetric sites such as Fangraphs aren’t as high on the Rays, but when are they ever? I could very well see the Rays repeating champs of one of the toughest divisions in baseball, and going far into the post-season. 

3. Toronto Blue Jays

The team with undoubtedly the flashiest offseason signings. After the A’s decided to blow it all up like a Northern Irishman in the 70’s, Toronto swooped in and grabbed Matt Chapman to fill in third base. The Jays almost certainly have the most exciting offense in baseball, with Vladdy leading Bichette, Springer, Gurriel and Jansen. 

The Jays also acquired Kevin Gausman, the man who led the Giants rotation to a 107 win record, and extended Berrios. Pair that with Ryu, and young gun Manoah, and you got a stew baby. The Jays could either succeed amazingly or fail spectacularly, and I’m all here for it.

2. Atlanta Braves

As much as this pains me, the reigning World Series Champs are still going to be very good. After months of tense talks, the Braves lost Freddie Freeman. “Surely, this will backfire on the Braves, as Freeman was the face of the franchise,” I hear you say. Nope; that same day the Braves go and trade for Matt Olson, and sign him to an incredibly team friendly deal. I don’t know how these motherfuckers keep getting away with it.

The Braves return their core of Ozuna, Albies and Acuña, and keep their well-rounded rotation of Fried, Morton and Soroka around. The Braves are solid all-around, and if not for the demons of the West, would be number one.

1. Los Angeles Dodgers

Yeah, the Dodgers somehow got better. Last year’s juggernaut added Freddie Freeman, just as it lost Cory Seager and Kenley Jansen, which allows Treat Turner to move back to short. The Dodgers’ rotation did downgrade after losing Scherzer, but Kershaw is looking healthy and so are Buehler and Urias. 

I could see the Dodgers succumbing to World Series fatigue, even though they didn’t win it, as they have been the favorites for a few seasons now. But I wouldn’t count on it.

So there you have it, my preseason power rankings; bereft of opinion and soaking in fact. If you happen to disagree with these rankings, boy do I have some news for you; all ranking spots were determined by averaging the power rankings of eleven different independent MLB reporting sites (but I also agree with the results). So if you don’t like it, suck it up bitch, because that means you don’t like data and facts, making you a smooth-brained mongoloid. 

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