Sometimes it is hard to describe a feeling of somewhere in between lonely and wanting to be alone. The peaks and valleys from hope to despair. It’s amazing how our brains can go from hopeful to hopeless in just in the amount of days, hours and I guess minutes for some. Hard to access when you have never lived in anyone else’s brain besides your own. This exact feeling seems to be a growing disease in United States culture and it is not being addressed properly, or even worse, not at all.
Once you feel yourself losing and then the things that you cannot control simply do not go your way. Your business ventures won’t work out, your favorite sports team loses, you get COVID before a vacation, you looked at your stock/crypto portfolios, everything is getting more expensive, you get left on read again. It feels like the sky is falling and everything and everyone in the world is against you.
Suddenly, your own mind is against you. You hate the body you are in at times. You feel like you are wasting your own time doing whatever it is that you are currently doing, you feel like nobody really likes you for who you are and you start to list to yourself everything wrong.
This my friends is a day in the life for someone like myself and nobody really understands it until you describe it and talk about it. I have gone days, weeks and even at times gone months in this type of headspace. Makes me kind of grateful for the times I am feeling 100% good mentally.
At the end of the day it is our job to help people understand what exactly it is that you’re going through. Most of the time they have no idea because you have mastered the practice of putting your shit aside, especially in public. It is also for us to understand and be aware of what exactly we are feeling. I tell my friends that if its on my brain it does not necessarily make it the truth, and please do not take it personal as we explain. The more I learn, the more wild it is to see how our attitude changes our reflection of a certain situation.
Best part of it all: it passes. Emotions are temporary, and can be exercised for good if you become self-aware of your own emotions. Yes, there is going to be short term pain, but that seems to be life no matter if you are up or you are down. All I’m saying in the long term it’s your dark days that make make us appreciate the times where you find yourself on a roll, but like with everything there is growing pains.
I don’t know if my friend is smart or he cited some philosopher, but once he told me, “Happiness isn’t something you achieve. It’s a temporary state of being. When someone wants to be ‘happy’ that’s impossible to have forever. The sooner you understand that it comes and goes, the better you can start to feel.”
Here are 5 ways some of us cope when you have reached the valley of suck and are trying to find your next peak.
5 Ways We Cope
1. Sleep
“A man needs his 7 hours.” At appropriate times. Can’t be a night owl or be a person who runs on a battery and is sleepless until you crash. Prioritize at least getting some as it is critical for staying neutral mentally.
2. Find The Right People to Talk to
Gotta find someone. Someone you trust whether family, friend or a professional. If you find yourself around people or environments that are going to put you further in a mental hole you gotta take a break or not see these people anymore. If someone you are talking so about this just turns it into a pissing contest on why they have more reasons to be depressed than you, they are not getting it. The brain is an organ. Some people’s brain chemistry does not produce enough serotonin and there is no magic pill one size fits all. That is why it is called medical “practice”. Hard for some people to understand. Some of your closest people are not up for the task to understand what you are going through, and that is okay.
3. Exercise
Can’t get sucked into your bed for days on end. I know at times it can feel like glue but it’s like a suction cup for you to stay in the same position you are currently in. Walk if you are not a fitness junkie. Just get away, get some blood moving as this helps process some of your thoughts that are troubling you at the moment while pumping some dopamine into your brain. A lot of clarity can be achieved with a good sweat.
4. Music
You know what hits different however you are feeling. Whether you slide into the skid and listen to Marvin’s Room, Frank Ocean, country music or songs that make you think about your third grade crush or you like to scream on top of your lungs to scream music by Disturbed. You know what works for you the best and what you enjoy. For me I listen to upbeat EDM/House music to gain a little pace and feel good.
5. Other
Read, write, learn something new, keep the brain preoccupied, and/or build something to be proud of. Hard to stay depressed when you are staying busy, creating or trying to become the best version of yourself. Notice we did not put sit on social media as that probably will only only drive you deeper down the hole and wasting time.
At the end of the day, do not sleep on the power of a few deep breathes in some fresh air. It is all good. No matter what it is we are going through we are all going to make it. If you need something say it, do not wait, seeking help may change your life. Be well, stay level, God bless.
-Maki
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