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Saddest Championship Parades Of All Time

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MLBNBANFL

Not all championship parades are created equal in American sports; some cities care more than others. Below are four examples of the saddest, most pathetic turnouts for major sport victories by their respective fanbases.

4. LA Rams 2022 Super Bowl Parade

This one may be a bit of recency bias, but the Super Bowl LVI Champions don’t look like they’re going to have a barn-burner of a crowd. I get it, LA is a basketball first, baseball second, football last town, and the Rams have only been back in LA for six years. It may be a bit early to call this one, as the parade begins at 11 am PST. But, as you can see above, the team doesn’t expect a sellout crowd, as their parade route only spans a few measly blocks from the middle of USC’s campus to the Coliseum. The Rams may be in the early running for worst modern-era parade, and by early signs it’s not looking great.

Lebron, as per usual, also seems to be trying to co-opt the event and make it all about himself.

3. Cincinnati Reds 1990 World Series Parade

It had been 15 years since the Reds won a world series, but with the parade turnout, you’d think it had been their tenth in a row. The Reds were heavy underdogs to the reigning World Series Champion Oakland A’s, and even then the Reds took the series in just four games. What did this enormous upset amount to? Just 12,000 Reds fans attended the celebration (which in truth was spoiled by freezing rain). Bad weather has never stopped the people of Buffalo from concussing themselves by jumping through flaming tables

2. Kansas City Chiefs 2020 Super Bowl Parade

In what was meant to be the beginning of a dynasty, the cholesterol clogged and pot-bellied people of Kansas City did not show their enthusiasm for Jackson Mahomes’ brother. In the modern era of sports, championship celebrations have been getting bigger and bigger. That is one of the reasons I decided not to include older celebrations; ticker-tape parades for championships mostly only occured in larger cities like New York, Boston and Chicago. But these days, even the Milwaukee Bucks had a parade that numbered in the hundreds of thousands. That’s why it’s surprising that such a bright young team like the Chiefs drew as small of a crowd as seen in the picture, especially in this day and age. 

1. 2021 Chicago Sky WNBA Championship Parade

Ok, now this one might be cheating. Yes, the WNBA barely has any viewership. And yes, many teams do not hold championship parades for the aforementioned reason. But during the height of the ‘women’s pay in sports’ conversation, the Chicago Sky boldly decided to hold a championship parade after taking home the trophy. Tens of people lined the streets to cheer on their favorite WNBA stars like… Kahleah Copper? It was exactly what you would expect, with more parade participators present than parade viewers.

There are pictures that came out later showing a somewhat sizeable (several hundred people) crowd gathered at the Pritzker Pavilion, but I choose to not acknowledge that because I am a bigot.

Either way, the event was a train wreck and whoever decided it was a good idea should be sent to gitmo.

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